Me: “Are you married?”
Boy: "Um, it's complicated."
Me: “What do you mean, ‘it’s complicated’? It’s a yes or no question.”
Boy: “You can call me DJ Scrillz.”
Me: “That’s... your name?”
Boy: “I know we’re broken up right now, and things have been rough, but will you marry me?”
Me: “I’m sorry but no, you cant come home with me.”
Boy: “Well, how long are you gonna make me wait? Are ya really gonna be a bitch and not put out.... tomorrow’s my birthday?”
side note: this was our first, and last date
Boy: “Are you sure you’re not ready? I have cancer. Who knows how much longer I have.”
side note: boy did not have cancer. lies.
Boy: “I like you, like a lot, and I don’t want you to go out with other guys. It really makes me upset that you do.”
Me: “Are you saying you want to be exclusive?”
Boy: Well, no. I’m not ready to commit yet. I just don't want you to see anyone other than me.”
and my all-time favorite…
Boy: “I don’t date, I hang out”
No, these are not lines from a Nora Ephron chick flick, these are quotes from my life. My very real, non-fiction life. I’ve been dating now for about 10 years {anything pre-college, can not be considered actually dating, sorry high school sweethearts} and to quote Charlotte York, “I’m exhausted, where is he?”
I have spent many years keeping my coupled friends entertained with my hellacious, often hilarious, dating stories. Usually my tales are followed by a “Shut Up!” or a “No he DID NOT." but really, I couldn’t make this stuff up!
So here we go, as I document my always adventurous, sometimes tragic, never boring life of a single girl living in the concrete jungle.
xoxo
Boy: "Um, it's complicated."
Me: “What do you mean, ‘it’s complicated’? It’s a yes or no question.”
Boy: “You can call me DJ Scrillz.”
Me: “That’s... your name?”
Boy: “I know we’re broken up right now, and things have been rough, but will you marry me?”
Me: “I’m sorry but no, you cant come home with me.”
Boy: “Well, how long are you gonna make me wait? Are ya really gonna be a bitch and not put out.... tomorrow’s my birthday?”
side note: this was our first, and last date
Boy: “Are you sure you’re not ready? I have cancer. Who knows how much longer I have.”
side note: boy did not have cancer. lies.
Boy: “I like you, like a lot, and I don’t want you to go out with other guys. It really makes me upset that you do.”
Me: “Are you saying you want to be exclusive?”
Boy: Well, no. I’m not ready to commit yet. I just don't want you to see anyone other than me.”
and my all-time favorite…
Boy: “I don’t date, I hang out”
No, these are not lines from a Nora Ephron chick flick, these are quotes from my life. My very real, non-fiction life. I’ve been dating now for about 10 years {anything pre-college, can not be considered actually dating, sorry high school sweethearts} and to quote Charlotte York, “I’m exhausted, where is he?”
I have spent many years keeping my coupled friends entertained with my hellacious, often hilarious, dating stories. Usually my tales are followed by a “Shut Up!” or a “No he DID NOT." but really, I couldn’t make this stuff up!
So here we go, as I document my always adventurous, sometimes tragic, never boring life of a single girl living in the concrete jungle.
xoxo
